breaking down the nba like craig sager's suits: colorfully

Friday, November 03, 2006

Dear Craig

Dear Craig,
I was taking the test to get my driver's permit last week, and I came upon a question about the legal blood alcohol percentage while driving. The possible answers were .01, .05, .08, and .10. I recalled from a post on this blog that Eric Musselman was over the legal limit of .08, so I went with that. It was wrong - the answer was .01 because the question was about the legal limit before turning 21. What do you have to say about this?
-- Barely got his permit in California

Dear Barely got his permit in California,
Thanks, Kevin. Kobe told me before the game that he is contributing all of the money he makes in the fifth minute of the second quarter to a battered women's shelter in Los Angeles. Jennifer Green, who manages the shelter, says she met Kobe during an event sponsored by Lakers owner Jerry Buss. Green said that even though Buss forced Kobe to donate the money despite numerous childish protests in front of hundreds of community leaders, it was still a very generous offer. Back to you, Kevin and Doug.


Dear Craig,
My wife and I are having a small issue with something. She thinks that it's ridiculous that I would spend all of Thursday on the couch amped up for your courtside reporting. It's supposed to be "my night to cook" or something, but that's insane, yeah? I might not work, and she might work two shifts, but she obviously doesn't understand. How can I make her see the way of Sager?
-- Trying to balance the wife and the Sager

Dear Trying to balance the wife and the Sager,
Kevin, I talked with Gilbert Arenas before the game, but he seemed especially jittery. Gilbert didn't seem to be paying attention to a few questions I had about tonight's game, so I asked him if everything was alright. As it turns out, he forgot to do his routine of doing a somersault, eating half of a turkey sandwich and kicking the other half off a balcony, pimpslapping a peacock, and crashing a car into a fire hydrant, all starting at 5:03 AM. It's quite possible that missing part of his daily routine has contributed to Gilbert missing all of his 25 attempts tonight. Back to you.

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Blogger Magic Mister E said...

Dear Craig,

Why the hell is Mike Fratello on your dilznick? He is obviously copying your hairstyle.

Also, my testicles are smelling like cat vomit mixed with unwashed homeless dude. What can I do to stop the stink because I'm getting holes in my underwear and the nuts are hanging out.


5:47 AM


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