breaking down the nba like craig sager's suits: colorfully

Monday, October 02, 2006

Your Team is Pretty Goddamned Lazy

Players are required to report to their teams tomorrow morning for media day, and starting on October 3rd, teams that aren't on the European tour will begin practice sessions. Practices that will test the grit of rookies and veterans alike. Then there are teams like the Hornets and Wizards who don't really give a shit.

New Orleans and Washington are holding practices that are fluffier than the questions Jim Gray asks his lover Kobe Bryant after Kobe shoots 3/50 from the field. Both the Honets and Wizards are only practicing for three hours a day, which is pretty freakin' lazy, but only one of those two teams take home the "Joe Barry Caroll Lazy Ass Award."



Wizards coach Eddie Jordan is asking his team to show up for two hours in the morning and just one hour in the afternoon. That's barely even enough time to get loose. By the time the Wizards have completed warmups -- which we assume will be comprised of jumping jacks, butterfly stretches, arm circles, and a couple laps around the gym -- the two hour session will be nearly over. We can only imagine Gilbert Arenas completing his 50 jumping jacks before his teammates, then flaring his nostrils and flipping off Antawn Jamison as practice ends.

On the other side of the spectrum, the Clippers and Celtics actually plan to get their multi-millionaires in shape. Both are holding a three hour session in the morning, followed by a two hour session at 6 PM for a grand total of five hours.

If we were smart like Jason Gurney of Lowpost.net, we'd probably do some chart with all teams and their standard deviation practice time scores or some shit, but we hope you'll settle for a neat little list.

Daily practice time breakdown:
3 hours: Wizards, Hornets
3 hours, 30 minutes: Bobcats, Cavaliers, Nuggets, Bucks
4 hours: Hawks, Bulls, Mavericks, Pistons, Warriors, Lakers, Grizzlies, Heat, Timberwolves, Trailblazers, Kings, Spurs, Raptors, Jazz, 76ers.
4 hours, 30 minutes: Magic
5 hours: Celtics, Clippers

Unknown: Suns
Single session (unknown length): Indiana
Two sessions (unknown length): Sonics, Knicks, Rockets, Nets

3 Comments:

Anonymous Sean said...

I enjoyed the post, but I don't agree with you completely. From your chart there, it's not like the Wizards and Hornets are slacking off that much--it's just 30 minutes less than a lot of teams. And practicing more isn't necessarily a better thing--getting one of your stars injured in a long, hard practice will be regretted for the whole year.

2:44 PM

 
Blogger Sager Savant said...

Okay, point taken. But for teams that might still have rotation spots open, taking it easy won't help put the pieces together. Sure five hours drains more energy than three hours of practice, but if you're implementing a new offensive scheme or have roster spot battles, you want as much time as possible.

1:24 AM

 
Anonymous Jason said...

Nice list (even without the statistics shit).

Interestingly, both 3-hour coaches received contract extensions this past summer ... coincidence?

3:14 PM

 

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