breaking down the nba like craig sager's suits: colorfully

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Coming Soon... Join us for a tribute to our bought out legends......

We love the Knicks. They're one of the flagship franchises with plenty of good memories. Sort of, those memories become distant with each passing day of ineptitude and make memories of comedy like heard any Larry Brown jokes lately or heard any payroll jokes lately. Therefore in our suggestion to boast sagging attendance at MSG we suggest the following promotional night.

Salary Cap fans, owner Jim Dolan proudly presents an historic night at MSG. Join us sometime in the future where we honor our past mistakes with "Bought out legends night". Special guests include Jalen Rose, Shandon Anderson and Maurice Taylor.

About the guests:

Jalen Rose - A former star with the Fab Five, who has played with Denver, Indiana, Chicago and Toronto. A solid role player for the low, low price of 16 million. Larry Brown insisted we get him last year from Toronto for Antonio Davis. He suggested the move without regard to the salary cap and when we decided that the ship had sailed on Brown it was time to cut the cord even it cost just 15 million to walk away. Jalen holds no grudges and would you? After all we just paid you to stay away. Only in the world of cablevision!

Maurice Taylor - By the time we got him, he had stopped in LA and Houston. He came highly recommended from old buddy Jeff Van Gundy and had some productive moments. But in the end, it was too much of a burden so we said here's a check for nine million now get the hell out of here and he sure did, signing with Sacramento.

Shandon Anderson - Talk about some good fortune. Not only does he get double income after being bought out, he gets the ring from being on the bench of Miami. It's ok, it was only eight million.

Other guests to include Jerome Williams, Allan Houston and your special phenomenal MC will be "Next Town" Larry Brown, who is always good for something here when he's not looking over someone else's shoulder (cough, cough, Maurice Cheeks).

If that night goes well, we will have personel error night. That is where we honor and bask in the mistakes of the past. Special guests are the following:

Keith Van Horn - A decent player but nowhere near the heart of Latrell Sprewell. Kind of showed how boring this team was.

Antonio McDyess - A hell of a nice guy but wouldn't Marcus Camby and Nene look better, especially since McDyess only played 10 games here.

Jerome James - Talk about cashing on a good two hours. One good playoff game and we were smitten. Good for five minutes per night with his plantar fascia.


Anonymous Telma said...

Great work.

12:30 AM


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